It's good... but if you would've tried to rhyme it would be even better ;)

Awesome job.. you can do better with time and practice and experience.. but you're definitely on your way.. you've got talent inside of you... so keep it up
take care of you
amanda

This is good. represents life well 5/5

Alright, i totally disagree with those who say rhyming would improve the quality of this piece.. i dont see where (s)he gets that idea, but im sure they're just always used to the poems with the endless slew of the same lines, over n over.. as for your piece,.. the beginning is a good metaphor, as much as its weird.. i gather that life scraps up our soul from the unknowing, thus bringing us into the knowing and consequently, bringing on depression.. the third stanza could be very much strengthened, i believe, by explaining how those poeple taunt you; do they do it consciously or unconsciously, and give examples or each.. the next stanza,.. forever is one word.. i think the line after the 4th stanza could be expanded, but that'd be up to you..

When we finally find the key to the life outside,

the second 'the' could be removed, but that might change the idea just a lil bit...

i find the ending to be a bit disappointing,.. its not bad, but it's just not that great of an ending,.. it does tie up the entire poem th0, such as the noose trying and wrist slitting, but its just not a strong ending.. i know you can think of a better one than that.. anyway.. another good poem from you.. keep it up..