Not yet

I don't want to be here
I don't want to be here
I don't want them to see me
I feel their eyes watching me
But they're not watching me
It's ONLY my mind
Holding my thoughts
I hear my own voice
I keep hearing it over and over again
Over and over and over. Replays in my head.
I don't want to be here
Not quite anxious yet
Which is unusual
Heart not beating TOO fast
But speeding up at the moment
Just not yet
Cheeks flushed
Ears burning
Become all red
Not yet..Not yet..Not yet
Try to hide it
But why would they be curious?
They doN'T care
They're NOT paying attention
They're not looking
They're NOT looking
They're not watching
That's not where the shadows are lurking
Not where the heads are turning
Stop. You know the truth.
You think you know
But that tiny part that feels so swollen
Thinks they're watching
They're not watching
So they can't be judging?
Everything's a question
Something must be for sure,
for certain
Need for comfort
But I can't see, I can't hear the Comforter.
Why, may i ask? Why?