I feel numb until thoughts of you entice my mind
You look into my eyes as if you can see my sole
And always I wonder if you can read my thoughts
Know that I’m thinking of you way to much
You look curious when I show up UN suspected I wonder if just maybe I look suspicious
With my head hung low and my eyes cast down do you still see what I am about?
For months now we have shared a bed but never have we shared a promise
We have had a kiss a hug everything intimate except not yet completion or trust
This is harder then I ever thought it would be
In my heart I know you make me happy
But we are apart far too much and you don’t show you care as much
In the begging you would hold me close tell me things I wanted to hear so much
This relationship is now but a vicious cycle
Yet again it is only about one thing
I just want you to know that I have been here before
Had the emotions that are meant to be kept secure
And just as it was it is now
I don’t say how I fell
But just maybe this time I’ll stop lying to my self
The thing is I know my self all to well I hate to fail
So here I am with a battle not only of my own and it ties me in knots if only you could know
So many questions I want to ask of you
But when we are close lying side by side all I want is intimacy of the vicious kind
My own worst enemy or so it would seem
I want more then I think you are willing to give
You told me once that sex meant more that being with a girl for a one night stand just wasn’t your thing
But it seems now just one big charade much like my happiness I’m afraid
The blame is not all of your own I do this to my self how and why I do not know
One more thing that you should know
I love your touch and when you hold me tight, I love to be tickled you could have me screaming all night, I love the way you tease though I beg you to stop, I love the noises you make and your eyes when your on top and though this is a vicious cycle I love the way you make me feel respected
I don’t always mind but I must admit when I am left alone with all these thoughts left to roam I am unable to stop the pain I guess this way it will remain.
Because I know my self all to well I hate to fail
So here I am with a battle not only of my own and it ties me in knots if only you could know
So many questions I want to ask of you
But when we are close lying side by side all I want is intimacy of the vicious kind
My own worst enemy or so it would seem
I want more then I think you are willing to give
One more thing that you should know
I love your touch and when you hold me tight, I love to be tickled you could have me screaming all night, I love the way you tease though I beg you to stop, I love the noises you make and your eyes when your on top and though this is a vicious cycle I love the way you make me feel respected
I don’t always mind but I must admit when I am left alone with all these thoughts left to roam I am unable to stop the pain I guess this way it will remain
But alas I know my self all to well and this is one thing I do not want to fail
