Without answers

I don’t know why I’m crying
I don’t know why I’m so sad
I don’t know why I’m pissed at the world
I don’t know why I’m mad

You told me on the phone
The words I wished to say
You said it wasn't working out
that we should break-up, stray

I don’t know why I’m screaming
I don’t know why I’m so upset
I don’t know what I’m feeling
I don’t know why I’m depressed

I've been wanting to say those words for weeks
But im a coward and couldn't do it
Maybe thats why blood tastes so sweet
Maybe this will pull me through it

Why am I attracted to problems?
Why do I feel like killing something?
And why do I stab at trying?
And yet why do i yearn for loving?

Told them i was happy, and its true
But then in the shower i broke down and cried
exerting my pain felt just so perfect
but nothing numbs the pain of love denied

Why do Istill hate this horrid loser even now?
Why did i ever let him go this far just to be broken?
Why did I ever even say yes to him?
Why did i let him say my thoughts unspoken?

I collapsed unwillingly into the confinement of a cold shower
Slammed my head to the wall and begged to suffer
I granted my own wish and so lamely cried
i forgave him, forgiving myself was tougher

Why do i hate them all, especially myself?
Why do i surround myself with people who don't care?
Why do i willingly give my heart to be broken?
Why do i give even myself such a scare?

I hate him because i love him, sad and true
I hate myself for letting him do this to me
I wanted it this way, so why aren't i happy?
If this kills me then its meant to be

But then why am I still depressed?
Why am i still crying?
i numbed the pain but im still pissed
my heart is silently dying

i am still depressed
but I’m no longer crying
replaced his evolving pain
and now I’m slowly dying...