She looked out the window.
Out to the rain,
Cascading down the glass.
She looked up at dull gray sky; to the lightning,
And remembered her past.
The nights she cried,
Alone in her room.
About things that happened.
Things she wanted to change.
But couldn't; impossible,
It was out of her reach.
She thought about her friends.
The issues they had,
And The way they handled them.
All the choices made were wrong.
It wasn't their fault though,
They were just too young.
She sighed as she sat back in her seat,
By the window sill in her room.
Put her head back and pulled up her feet,
Wrapped her arms around her legs.
Her chin rested on her knees,
Her mind was not at ease.
'Things could have been done another way,'
She thought to herself,
'Different from what took place.
Maybe if I'd been there,
I could have said the words I wanted,
To her face.'
She shook her head and brown hair fell into her eyes.
Pushed the hair back and thought again,
'Maybe it was meant to be like this,
Maybe they were suppose to kiss.'
'If they hadn't, I'd see her again.
She means so much,'
Her thoughts were twisted and needed to be told,
'Too bad they screwed up,
Would she make it without us?'
Her thoughts moved on,
To a boy that was leaving.
Not soon; not for a year,
But he was still walking out of her life.
Her memory replayed the words,
She did not want to hear.
"It's been decided."
He had said,
"I’m moving to New York,
Not right now, but sometime next year."
'He can't move,
He can't just leave me here.'
She needed him more than anything.
He understood everything about her.
Never doubted her,
Only told her things that were true.
But he hated this town,
And he wanted out.
There was nothing she could do.
She glanced over to the mirror,
That was across the room.
She looked at herself and her long dark brown hair,
Her pale skin and black skirt,
Her gothic look.
She looked over to the window again.
Out to the clouds with the drops trickling down.
She never cried on days like this,
The rain was her tears.
These were the days, she deconstructed her past.
As the cold water slid down the glass.
