I cant break a promise

As the blade goes in, i know im going to break a promise.
its held me together for many a year.
as i forget your face i forget it was a promise i could break.
im trying to be strong, please someone help me breathe.
as my world collapses around me,
i know the time is soon.
why cant anyone see the pain i feel?
my tears run down my face, as invisible to others eyes as is my torment inside.
all my friends see me smile, see my spirit and my life.
yet none of them see how i truly feel how i want to end my life.
i raise my head and drop the knife, a promise i have never broke.
please forgive me for almost going back, but thats all i want,
my old friends by my side.
i wish i could see your face, as the truth i cannot hide.
for you i am an open book.
please come back in my life.

i need you