I make my Family Sick

I'm sick of the lectures,
The judgments,
The blunt show of disgust,
The disappointment in my family's
eyes as I constantly embarrass them
I'm sick of living in a world where I'm not loved
Where the sight of me is not welcome
Every time I walk in the doors,
Surprise! I'm stoned again
Hello Mom,
Hi Grandma,
Hi Grandpa, do you like my eyes?
These eyes tell you nothing
These eyes you despise
If only you notice my voice like you
always check if I'm high
I wish you'd see the truth
I don't want acceptance form you
anymore,
I understand that I'm not perfect
enough for you
If only you would see that I hate you
All of your expectations
But you still wonder why I can't sleep
You make me doubt myself
You make me forget my dreams and I start to think I don't have a future
I start to hate everyone
I'm so annoyed by every word you
say
I hate this world
I hated waking up today
I hate my depression
I hate being misunderstood
I hate what I've became
I'm a screw-up, a mistake
An addict before I turned fourteen
But now I'm just a fiend
I don't know why I'm still alive
God knows how many times I wanted you to love
my skills
I have tried
But you couldn't Love a writer I was supposed to be an athlete or a
beauty queen
I'm too moody not peppy
You've rejected every one of my
dreams
What's the point of being happy
when my family doesn't love me?
What's the point of being sober
when drugs are the only on who love me