Scarred

- Scarred -

I've never been so scared
Ever in my life,
I sometimes think my only resort
Is to pick up the knife.

Whenever you look my way
My heart fills with dread,
I get black butterflies
Butterflies that want me dead.

Your cool, cold eyes
Bore deeply into my skin,
They tear wounds into my flesh
I know I can never win.

The scars run deeper
Big, ugly marks on across my arms,
Across my legs and heart
And my face to my alarm.

Nobody sees these wounds
But you and me
I sometimes just lie awake
Wishing someone else could see.

The pain you put me through
I don't know if you know,
But your sneering, shallow laugh
Makes me feel so incredibly low.

Like i am nothing to you
Just your doormat to walk upon,
You cannot even look at me
Without picking out something wrong.

If you seem to hate me so
Why do you hang around?
Do you like the fact when I hear your voice
I drop to the ground.

It's like all i do is beg at your feet,
Crying loudly and clearly
Begging you to not do it
And all you say is, "Really?"

As your wide grin stretches across your face
I cower and cover my head,
You just laugh and laugh at me
Saying you wish i were dead.

I don't mean to complain
But i hate being so scarred,
You really just must understand,
That loving you is so hard.