Alive with You

Alright so the aspect of the poem I enjoyed the most is also the aspect that I found the most distracting from the message. I was captivated by the internal rhyme of each line, along with the accordingly rhymed couplet at the end of each stanza. I had to read this poem a couple of times before I could even tell what the literal meaning of the stanzas were, let alone the symbolic ones.

Despite that slight criticism (which is actually an unsolvable problem. one of the best aspects of your poem seems to consume it. meh, what are you going to do?)

I thought the couplet at the end really pulled the piece together. It added a bit of a conclusion to the whole thing, and helped unify the message in each stanza.

If I were to suggest any corrections/improvements, I'd suggest that you add more punctuation and correct any grammatical mistakes. With punctuation you can fine tune the meaning that the readers'll recieve from each sentence/thought, and by tightening the grammatical screws, it will look a bit more presentable (e.g. "reality u dread" just say "you" instead).

Very gothic - Such sweet passion - the pains of love are fresh and the wounds of our understanding that love are badges that line our hearts!!! keep up the good writes bud,, nice