A touch and a taste

Time and time again i feel my thoughts begin 2 bend,
but lately.. this distorted reality seems 2 b my trend
lying to myself and oblivious to who it is that Ive become
my very own nemesis, staying true to nothing Ive ever done
n not knowing whether Ive accomplished anything thats truly worthy
but always conscious that my thoughts these days aren\'t so sturdy
a wreckless vessel whose one and only goal is self destruction
theres nothing i could ever do to stop this wealth of dysfunction
n I\'m the one who suffers the most, living as a parasite, u r my host
in all truth, i never needed the drugs, i was fuc.ked up from the start
piece by piece i take myself apart, disconnecting the mind from the heart
walking in circles, only to find that i am not moving an inch at all
insensitivity in its purest form, a hopeless future, destined to fall
incarnation of all that is dark, inspiration that only hate seems to spark
treading on all of my past mistakes, threaded with all my pains and aches
n after all Ive done, u must loathe me with an intensity hotter then hell
but Ive only had a small taste of what really lies beneath this shell
drowning in a well of liquid poison that only your true love can negate
found out for myself that this well is just my consciousness dripping with hate
n still i let my feelings blossom into liking, then condense into love
tearing me up from the inside out, due to the false pretense its made of
it crumbles into nothing so suddenly its like it was never even there
leaving me with just a touch of what we were that i cant stand to bear
but it matters not n ill just continue to leave my morals to rotten
n let my thoughts reside in the shallow hope that wont be forgotten