This piece would be strengthened by having some form to it,.. keeping all the lines roughly the same syllable count.. i frown upon rhyming the word life/knife.. among others, that rhyme is way, wayyy overused.. there is some value to these phrases, but it seems bland in your representation of them,.. maybe write them down differently, not saying exactly it is what you're trying to say, but alluding to it. make the reader think.. anyway.. not bad,.. keep on writing!