The Red

I seem normal through your eyes
then my insides just seem to rise
I'm the agreed with no compromise
I'm really not like that behind these eyes

I'm a figure filled with secret lies
i think its myself that i despise
my own self-hate is what thrives
fueled off my anger is how it strives

straight to the torment it supplies
get no chance to sympathize
you people have no pain inside your lives
I'm a bad hand,a pair of fives

glimmer of hope gets me to new highs
peak through the curtain,the dream will minimize
no self esteem cuts me down to size
get a spark of joy in me then it dies

my life is just so problematic
depression clings to me like static
keep the pain up in the attic
i cant take it anymore,I've had it

my relationships never seem to feed
they crack once and start to bleed
buried deep inside is the hateful seed
someone to talk to is all i need

chaos is the bringer of my greed
gimme some light,ill do the deed
ill follow,if you take the lead
if you can see who i am,ill be freed

i get my happiness off your confrontation
I'm ready to go,give me the confirmation
stressing out is my form of relaxation
suicide=number one contemplation

this pain has left so many indentions
from so much hurt and constant suspension
i want to be seen,some recognition
I'm just crying out for a little attention

i wish you all could just see
i put this mask on to cover me
you think I'm all that i can be
my true life suffers terribly

theres turmoil in my family
seems like I'm stretched across the sea
its been this way since i was three
i wish i could just set me free

I'm always causing myself to go into affray
this alcohol just numbs the pain,it wont make it go away
all i can do is sit and pray
that these feelings will soon decay

something goes wrong,ill be the one to pay
ill just keep counting down the days
let me go! is what i say
to these voices i hear and they wont go away

you think you see through my eyes inside my head
but theres a gun in my head full of lead
ill be this way till the day I'm dead
but until then,ill be running through
THE RED