Learning From a Loveless Man

If love had one definition,
I'm sure we'd all be lost

Could we all sacrifice ourselves,
no matter the cost?

When I was a girl, the definition of love was abuse
It was symbolized not by the dove,
but by the infamous noose

I was cheated, hurt, and deceived by my father,
My heart bled lies told by a broken daughter

Doctors tell me I'm sixteen going on thirty
I've never worn white gloves but they tell me I'm dirty

I can't see the stains, but I know the strings are frayed,
I might be able to hem the seems but will the stains ever fade?

For all the wrong reasons, I'm in love with "Mr. Right"
The taste of resentment has yet to become trite

I fear that I'll grow to marry a man like my father,
But where should I hide, when I fail my own daughter?

If I was to take my shoes from my childhood years,
Should I expect my child to put them on without shedding a tear?

What a heavy burden, what a horrid gift to give...
To ask a child to relive the years that I once lived

For when I fail my daughter, and she's raised with abuse,
She'll defend her love for dysfunction with every excuse.

If I cannot erase this ripple that tears through my life,
My daughter then becomes the emotional wreck of a wife.

If I cannot love myself then at least I should love another,
Who will respect me and encourage the proper love for a mother.

I refuse to hand down another generation of tears,
If motivation is lacking, let it least defend itself with fear.

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I'm afraid of falling in love with another who will raise my child(ren) as my father raised me. I should not, and will not, allow my child to learn from a loveless man.