Excellent use of words and the Alice in Wonderland is teh shiz

This is a very good poem, excellent! i wouldnt change anything, amazing 5/5

I really enjoyed reading this piece of work! Full of talent indeed! :)

Wow...I really like this poem, its so honetly sad but beautiful at the same time.

Good

Incredible way of painting a picture with words. I can really picture how you're stretching out for something and just falling short of what you're going for. You know what you want to be in some aspects and you know the one you want. Obviously.
I'm always here for you hun.
Luv Scarlet xxxx

Incredible way of painting a picture with words. I can really picture how you're stretching out for something and just falling short of what you're going for. You know what you want to be in some aspects and you know the one you want. Obviously.
I'm always here for you hun.
Luv Scarlet xxxx

I liked it. The way you used the words to draw this image in the readers' minds... Excellent. I loved your allusions to Alice in Wonderland. It all made me think of when I was little and I kind of wish I could go back to then... Very deserving of your high ratings, you are. 5/5

Omg! your talent is incredible! the first segment is breathtaking! i love this poem!5/5!

WOW! great job! filled with such emotion i would have to say i agree with everyone up above and thier opinions and like taylor i don't think i can find anything wrong with it. excellent job!

~Jacklyn

Her brown eyes, bittersweet pools of mystery
In which I am spellbound for many hours

that is my favorite part! excelllllent job on this one! it may just be ur best yet, keep up this wonderful work, n i like the ending with the alice in wonderland, it gave the poem a sense of forgotten child-hood memories. xxxpeacexxx
weeping wolf~~

Thanks for checking out my poem.. =D it really meant a lo to me.. I voted a 5 on this one.. very good... hugs

Wow that has soo many qualities like how it encaptures the reader, has a great structure and paints vivid pictures in ur mind, i like

Well written love the reference to Alice in wonderland.... Very cleverly written.... The capitals at the begining of each line make the poem a bit harder to read....

Each minute, each day feels like a simple eternity - This line i think should be:

Each minute, each day, feels like a simple eternity

It's better when it's read that way but that's just my opinion....

Best paragraph would be:

My heart longs for my love, over the hillocks and brooks
A parched and cracked desert praying for the storm
A dry mouth begging for water
Like a baby in the mother waiting to be formed

I liked descriptions and what you compared everything to.....

Well written

Good on ya!

-Lyd

So brilliantly written, the imagery amazing. The feeling of sadness was painted perfectly. I really liked the 3rd to last stanza, something about it just stood out at me. Take Care! Brooke~

Wow, amazing poem! it was beautiful. it captures the readers attention so well. great job!!
crystal

Wow. The first 4 stanzas I love the most, I feel that way... Fantastic job here. Very descriptive and flowing and original...and just the word choice fills it with such meaning...

"My recluse is torn from my body at the seems" -
I think you mean "seams."

Well done!

xxx

I really enjoyed this poem. I thought the wording you used suited the style of the poem and you went into so much detail even with several reads, not all is revealed. I think over all is was a touchingly sad poem, It gave the feeling of isolation or loneliness and feelings of desperation.
I really liked the final line “Alice in wonderland without the Cheshire cats smiles.” The reference to Alice in Wonderland puts a sense of naivety into the poem, and without Cheshire cats, the fairytale is lost.

Personally, I wasn’t too keen of the line format with the third line being much shorter than the other three. It seems to me to interrupt the flow, and give the impression something is missing from that line. But maybe that was intential, I don't know...

Overall a well written and detailed write. Keep up the good work!

Ps Thanks for your feedback on my poem “Autumn Breeze.” The reason the lines are set out in that way was deliberate. I actually jaggered the lines in the original poem so they more or less flowed into one another. However, this site doesn’t work in that way and subsequently when submitted the lines were all placed directly underneath one another. That’s the problem with making pretty patterns in your work, but they were there for a reason that’s the irritating part.

Wow, another person to add to my favorites. Thanks for writing such wonderful poetry.

This took my breath away! great!