I looked at the poem you wrote me
And got totally out of control.
Reached for the nearest sharp thing
My hand was shaking, it was hard to hold.
I tried to cut
It didn't work
I tried and tried again.
I couldn't get deep enough to take away
The pain.
I knew that cutting wouldn't help
But I got so out of control
I couldn't stop myself.
I was trembling, I was shaking
Too hard, all of this I am taking.
Picturing you, holding her hand
Needing somebody who could understand.
I want you to know how I feel
Layers of my heart have been pulled off and
Unpeeled.
What remains
Is a small thin piece
The feelings I hold
Beg
To be released.
Passion and Pain
Does anyone feel the same?
Sick of relying
On people who aren't there.
People who just don't care.
You cry and you cry
And you wish
You could die.
And no-body cares.
Cause when you're eleven,
No-one thinks you feel pain.
No-one thinks
Your life might hurt.
No-one knows
Of what goes on.
Behind your painted smile.
I wish someone would sit
And LISTEN for a while.
I thought of how you kissed my head
And got totally out of control
"calm down" myself, I told.
I punched the wall
I punched my bed
My feelings and thoughts
Raced in my head.
I ripped up some paper
Not knowing what it was
I screamed in my pillow
I was crying all because
Of things you said
Of the feelings you left
Of the way you have no idea
How much you're hurting me.
No, not physically.
I have been numbed
emotionally
And now all I feel is pain.
