I wish
i wish my life was normal
and that all my tears will dry
when you look at our pictures
no one could ever tell
on the outside we are smiling
but I'm the only one that knows
its not as good as it may seem
never say more is less
less is definitely more
my family's so messed up
i just cry more and more
i wish
i wish my life was normal
my parents are divorced
live in two different states
both of them married
all together i have four
no less and no more
my step dad hates me
i know its so
my step mom loves me
but i just don't know
my grandpa left my grandma
another girl in his life
i didn't even get a goodbye
i felt like i could die
they never told me that the last time he saw me
was when he visited my camp
and seemed all shy
i didn't think anything of it
but now i know
he left that night
never to return
he left me crying
a family again torn
i haven't heard from him since
except at his dads funeral
he had the nerve to bring her
he had the nerve to say
come here Ashleigh
Ive missed u each and every day
he thinks I'm so little
when i always knew
my other grandpa left me too
i never met him
never have seen a picture
does he even know about me?
does he even care?
he never had the consideration
to let me know he was there
he was my age when my dad was born
14 a young teenager
impressionable at that
he couldn't take the pressure
his mom didn't give a shit
he left town
with out another word
i don't even know his name
and therefore i don't know me or him
Ive heard hes part Indian
but thats all i know
i have his blood running through my veins
but i have nothing to show
i don't seem to fit in
not even with my mom
not even with my dad
after a while i come to realize
I'm all alone in this cold harsh world
no one to keep me company
no one to understand
Ive had over 8 grandpas
my real ones all left
my step ones don't care
y should they?
I'm not related
i don't share their blood
so y share their love?
the only time i fit in
is when I'm all alone
by myself in my room
my walls can keep my secrets
they listen with out laughing
my bed holds me closely
keeping me warm during the night
my fan cools me softly
as i dream of all the bad
my music drowns out the muffled noises
as i cry into my pillow
the country soothes my broken soul
sometimes i don't understand
why was i put on this earth
my family is obviously cursed
my only love also left me
and what do you know
another girl
am i not good enough?
am i too ugly?
do i not buy enough designer clothes?
do you think i don't have heart?
that i don't feel?
well i do
and i know that you know
i don't like being the one with all the problems
i don't like it all
i hate having to tell people that my life is so screwed up
the only one who listened
is the one who left
the only one who cared
doesn't care anymore
so now id like to ask you god
why is it like this
what did i do wrong
I'm sorry for asking
but i cant seem to move on
