I would definitely suggest you go back and fix it. By not writing out certain words, the grammatical errors, it created too much of a distraction, and took away from the beauty of the piece. Other than that, I would say it’s deep and has originality to it…
Just fix it please :)

xxx

Drew,
I really enjoyed that poem. I think that you should just leave it as it is. any gramatical errors make it origional and yours. you have some amazing poetry and i really enjoy reading it. keep up the great work. If you want you could maybe check out some of my work too. or if not its all cool. later
~Hard2Heal

Ok first of all I LOVE IT,
I think that that is definitely my favourite piece,
Its easy to relate to, flows well, despite the grammatically incorrect line, has a wondeful structure and its simplicity makes it an absolute joy to read. The only thing thats disappointing is the swearing which kind of kills the poem or any poem for that matter, if only you would put the correct spelling..................
Lol,
Lovin' it