Me ... (part 1)

And so the story begins,
my lifes a reflection of the problems with in,
1986, I took a breath for the very first time,
the first thing I held was pen, 11 years later I wrote my first rhyme,
a little chubby kid just tryin to find his place,
lifes deep, and I began in the wrong direction at an early age,
I'll never forget that day I lost my best friend to this,
We met up, crackin jokes down the street, clueless,
young & dumb, We lived life the only way We knew how,
I lost too many boiz, I got less than a few now,
I'll always remember You Tiny, my young Homie,
crying as the Priest read Your eulogy feeling cold and lonley,
You died in my arms, as We cried 2gether You told me You loved me,
theres always a reason why most thugs are thugs see, cuz the world is ugly,
We were only 12, but we felt that life wasnt too different then a jail cell,
seeing our own, living in hell, calling home to make bail, no reasons to tell,
Soulz hektik, what had the world expected, from the poor ghetto youth completely neglected,
So We soled drugs, cuz we were taught 'those with money were respected',
Years went by and friends became ghosts,
I couldnt recognize the person in my reflection and I hated him the most,
I never slept, I just wrote till my eyes closed,
more close ones sold coce till their eyes closed,
I've heard too many mothers cry out thier sons name,
dead beat dads, fathers finding only them selves to blame,
too much liquor poored on the streets for the jailed and deceased, as we reminised and softly weeped,
I'd given up holding heat, that night I gave my gun back,
and I always think, 'what if I hadnt done that?' ,
Its true what they say, Your past can always come back to haunt You,
I couldnt escape my pain even if I wanted to,
the very next day, I was stabbed and robbed,
shot at, but I survived and I only thank God,
what preconceptions do people have of me? .
ladies clutchin their purses, the only 1 who can Judge me is above me,
who wouldnt change after being through what I've been through,
Reality is a trip, depending on how hard You let it hit You
... and the story continues ...