"i have to remind myself to stop remembering
thoughts that leave me haunted"

i am with you on that one. nice job keep it up and thanks for your comment i like it when some one tells me how to make my poems better thanks i'll work on it. outtie

Hmm interesting. good choice of words..even tho i didnt know what alot of them meant it was pretty easy to follow

Awesome poem, I really enjoyed this piece. The flow was good and your word choice made it unique. Deep thoughts written very well.

Thanks for your comment, I really appreciate it. "Wouldst" isn't a word, but it was common in shakespear's time which is why I used it. I felt it added to the fairy tale feel of the story. Thanks for your suggestions. Keep writing!

~rolo

Now this I really like. Deep. And what do you know, you expanded my vocabulary. :)

"i have to remind myself to stop remembering
thoughts that leave me haunted"

^ That goes for me as well.

Your word choice creates the mood well...very nice work.

xxx

Drew.. you haven't ceased to amaze me yet! i absolutly love all your writing, and i really enjoy your style. very origional. do you write about things that happen in your life, or just really great thoughts that come to mind? just curious as to where all the beauty in your writing comes from. :-)
~Hard2Heal

Ok, i have to say its not one of your best poems the ending was kinda off and
everything i once had is now ripping away
melting into silence as my footsteps stray
nothing can help me,.. I'm just slipping away
sounds kinda forced. Also the vocabulary is not as complex as in some of your other poems.
But i still loved it.it was deep and emotional, and i put you in my favorates cause you have never writtin anything i havn't liked. i would give it a 4/5 great job. and if you get a chance check out A Brighter Future, it my newest poem. oh and sorry i want you to check out so many of my poems its just your like the only person that i can get honest feedback from but this is my last one, promise!

Wow, i actually understood most of the words in this one :) lol i'm just a loser. neways, i loved it! it was great! i gave u a five, and just wanted to say that i understand ur emotions in this poem, i loved it alot! it was great. my favorite part is "everything i once had is now ripping away melting into silence as my footsteps stray" thanks for the good read!

-giz