Perfection (just something I wrote)

To My Father

You sit there and tell me you’ll support me 100% of the way. You sit back and tell me I could do anything I want. You sit there and tell me how you’re so f*king proud of everything I do, and then you turn around and tell me how big of a disappointment I am to you. My grades are never good enough, I am never good enough. You say I have issues. I’m driving myself insane, so dark and cold and so withdrawn from the rest of the world. I realize I am messing up my life, but it’s my life, I control it. I keep pushing everyone away. I am weird, I am unstable and I need help.
So, Help Me! Make me what you want me to be. Give me the name I need to get anywhere in life. Give me the simple mind I need to be popular. Take away my rights, and structure my life. Take away my inspiration, mold my frown into a smile and wipe the emptiness from my eyes. Capture my soul and put out the flame that burns in my heart. Watch me become lifeless like you. Buy me new clothes, do my hair, fix my make-up. Make me look the way that satisfies you. Choose my music, rent my movies. Take control of my education, alter my interests, and choose my career. Tell me everything about “how you know I could be better then what I am”. You can control my entire life. Place me on your gold pedestal and tell me how proud you are of me…and then kill me, because I would rather be dead.

Love your Disappointment,