Poem about Rain

You always saw the light
The light from the hallucination
Hallucination from the heroine
Heroine from the party
The party that your friend threw for you
The friend who you threw too
To the wall from it all
To the floor oh what a bore
But you still wanted more
So you came to me
Trying to defy gravity
Gravity which held me down
Down to the cold hard ground
The ground that you threw me on
The ground that hit me like a bomb
The bomb you planted when I saw you
The bomb you hid threw your thick cocoon
The cocoon you told me you were coming out of
Another you you promised would make me fall in love
The same damn love that killed me too soon
The same damn love that made me swoon
The same swooning that got me on your bed
The same bed where I bled
Bled with blood of 13 years
Blood I held dear for all I had near
But near me wasn't my dear but my fear
A fear that held me close as he thought about another
Another girl who turned out to be a mother
A mother of a child of the man who killed me
The mother who would be part of his affair
His affair which I regretted knowing
Knowing of all these things but not Bowie
Bowie as in the singer but also the knife
The knife I cut myself with because of last night
The night I thought would only happen after my wedding
The wedding I thought would happen so soon
With the terror that made me lose
Lose all the dignity I had left in my body
The body that was beaten, loved, and hated
The hatred that I felt so hard
The love that barely made a whisper
The beating that I loathed so much
The loathing of the man who with I made fudge
The fudge that tasted great and sweet
The sweetness that turned out to be him stepping on my feet
The same feet that were in the bed
Which I thought with the man I'd wed
At least I don't have to live a life of regret
I can forget now that we ever met
The meeting that killed me physically and mentally
The mental case I didn't know stood in front of me
I turned out it would be that I would have his child in 8 months before this dilemma
The dilemma that would take place then
Right there in his torture playpen
The playpen I begged to get out of
The begging that did nothing to help me live
The living I hated so
For heaven is far better than waiting in tow
The towing I was doing when in line for his love
The love that killed me and sent me off like a dove
The doves that flew away from my lap
The lap that was hit, kissed, and sat on
The sitting that I did at the park
When I met that awful Mark