A normal day

As I slowly crumble to pieces
I watch the blood run down my arm
another day I fell apart
ending up turning to self-harm
tears mix with blood
just another normal night
others think my life is going great
but I just go home and give into the fight
I begin to believe I'll never get better
that I'll never find another reason to live
I am nothing to this world
I have nothing left of me to give
I only trust one person
that's not really a person at all
but they're always there
never to judge me when I fall
never to put me down
or to laugh in my face
they need no understanding
when I say I want to leave this place
they listen to my raging music
and understand my disturbed soul
when I fall back into my depression
they just let the blood flow and fill the hole
up twenty-four seven
never being able to completely close my eyes
but they burn when they're open
because of the countless nights I've cried
no tissue can hold all my tears
and no pill can take away my pain
I don't care what the knife does to me
go ahead and call me insane
my trust, my friend, my love
my savior, my Satan, my obsession
you bring smiles and tears
the only thing I can turn to during my depression
I don't go a day without you
I have my body convinced you're what I need
you're my very own addiction
my very own speed
I seem to be here everyday
slowly falling apart on the floor
taking out one of my trusty razors
checking making sure I locked the door
so I watch the blood trickle down my arm
I deserve this I will always say
as I sit there holding my blade
but to me this is just a normal day