The Struggle

I\'m weak with self pity
I\'m mourning myself
My life feels so gritty
Destroying itself

I pray for repentance
For my self absorbed mistakes
I\'m awaiting acceptance
As my body cries and aches

I\'m tired from the guilt
Guilt from my own broken dreams
I feel my world swiftly tilt
As my soul silently screams

I wish to be brave
Stand back on my feet
But i feel so depraved
Of a restless nights sleep

I\'m so deep in this
In this sea of lost hope
Struggling in the abyss
Just looking for a rope

I would pull myself free
From this unforgiving mess
But I\'m stuck as i plea
With little success

I\'m falling down a hole
Toward a twisted, warped world
I feel so out of control
My mind a host of swirls

I concentrate on a way
To fix my transgressions
To morally repay
My horrifically sinned confessions

I\'m going to complete this
I\'m going to win
My bravery exists
Its just locked deep within

I feels so numb
But I\'m not letting go
I will struggle to become
What i feared so long ago