Thoughts

I'm too stressed to sleep
I don't know what's happening
I'm too sick to eat
my head won't quit spinning

I'm dead on the inside
the memories are coming back
the thoughts are piling in my mind
everything is going black

my best friend is mad at me
what am I going to do
I wonder why she can't see
I care about her too much to lose

I'm getting weaker by the second
I'm ready to let go
I could easily end all of it
but I'm reaching for a bigger goal

last night I did the dumbest thing
I cut myself real deep
there wasn't really that much pain
I just sat and watched the blood seep

I don't know whats going on
inside of my own head
I thank God that one day I'll be gone
but for now only on the inside am I dead