I thought a best friend was someone who is meant to trust, believe and care
I thought it was quite an easy job, until I realised what it came with
I didn't know what I had done, or possibly what I'm still doing.
So please save me agony of trying to find out and just tell me.
I didn't know that in years to come, I was going to end up hurting you.
Treating you like something on my shoe. I never wanted that to happen.
I wanted to keep you save forever, never see you get hurt, but what I didn't know is that I was going to do the hurting.
I don't see why you stick with me, I have dragged you through everything I have been through.
Made you choose, made you decide, made you hurt and made you cry.
All I can say is sorry but you know at times like these it seems the best I can say, even though I want to say more. I want to mean what I say but I'm scared I'll get laughed at.
I haven't meant to push you away at the times when I did.
I haven't meant to be a burden upon you, to way you down, to stop you doing the things you want to do. Instead you listen and do what I want instead.
And I'm sorry. Do I scare you that much that you are afraid to say 'No'
Do I scare you that much that you are scared to give me your idea; instead I end up making it.
I don't like it, I want you to be you, you don't need to hide from me. If you don't want to do something, tell me. Please.
Why do you lie to me? I only want to help, and I know you do to, but I can get over this. I promise, I'll be fine. I know we all have lies and secrets from each other but I thought we were bestest friends and can tell each other everything. But instead I feel this friendship is being built on lies.
Over the last week, I have been the biggest b***h ever and you cannot deny that because it is true. I have left you crying. I have hurt you while hurting myself. Pushing you away, wanting to be alone. And all the while needing a friend, not any friend. Just you, the friend I love like friend, the friend I love like sister and you know the most important, the friend I love like a wife.
We have so many memories lingering in my head never going be let go always kept even when I loose you I'll never forget you.You have supported me when I thought I had no-one. You have been there for me. A shoulder to cry on. I have had my stressy moments, my moody moments, my suicidal moments and your still with me and I thank you so much. I just hope I have been the same.
So hunni, don't ever blame yourself unless you have done something wrong.
Don't ever beat yourself up unless you really have to and even then,
Don't because I'm here.
Don't ever say that you have had an argument with your mum and don't actually tell me.
Don't ever say that your fine and not actually mean it. Because I can tell when you lie and when you still continue to lie. It hurts because there is nothing I can do to help you.
From now on, I promise to trust you with all my heart, believe (most) your every word, and also the most important; I love you and what ever happens; don't ever want you to forget that. So really basically all I'm trying to say are 5 important words!
