An everyday life,
Thats what i used to have,
but now i have a messed up one,
Instead of everyone else being alone, i am.
There are plenty of people here for me,
But every time they try to help they just get farther away,
I let them try their best even though i know it wont do much,
I tell them its like going through with drawl from smoking.
Every time i see a knife,
Every time i hold one,
I know i could take my life,
Just plunge it through my already shattered heart.
I don't do it for the sake of others,
I know i have friends and family,
But they just get in the way,
My life is so complicated.
I used to wish to die,
I used to wish my life would just be over,
Now i wish for it to be normal,
for everything to just go away.
I'm not the person that likes help,
So when my parents sent me to therapy, i fought with them,
Other people go so they can stop,
But i stopped on my own and they wont accept it.
I always thing,"tomorrow i could die,"
"Today i might do it,"
I think but i never do,
I guess i could say i am grateful for that.
The normal life that i reach for often,
Is disappearing into the darkness i used to live in,
I keep running for it,
But i feel like i just get farther instead of closer.
I drop to my knees one final time,
Never to walk the ground,
As a normal person,
Living a normal life.
