Warped and Twisted

Hey, this was good, and i never leave one liners... i wish i was this good and if you have the time read some of mine plz
i am adding you add me too plz ttyl tyler

Wow! i loved this poem.... the new version was the best but the first one was very good for being your first poem ever...very good job! 5/5

Wow again this is another one of your good ones that I have read. 5/5 My favorite stanza is....
"Climbing out of hell
with my wings on fire
back into this world
of darkness and desire
flying up to heaven
just to be forbidden
this crime I've committed
is still unforgiven
I'm wandering in this place
warped and twisted.."

I loved the wording and the flow, it tied it up really nicely.

What i have to be
in front of my peers
is not the person i am
its to inspire their fears..
((These are your weakest lines..You're talking about death and darkness, and then you go to talk about people around you. I didn't like it..not at all. Poor choice here, with all due respect.))

Otherwise, this is an amazing poem if it is your first. It's simply amazing. Very well written. I suggest, once again, to try punctuation; it would flow so much better with it. Since it didn't have it, I read all the way through, without a breath....And it made it seem hurried.
Yeah..
Nice job.

xTheEcstasyOfSuicidex5.5

Well...I would never have guessed this was your first poem ever. Lol. My first poem literally had no flow, crappy rhymes, and just...no emotion to them. This poem contained all of that and more.

The flow was great. Especially for a first poem. I was impressed with how well you wrote this. It had emotion, which I like a lot in a poem. And I REALLY liked how you were 'warped and twisted.' =P It gave it so much more depth to use those 2 words instead of some other 2. Well done. =) 5/5 xxoo

Samantha