I think of the days we used to share all the times that i reminisce on my beautiful king that if only he knew how much i actually adored him that maybe he actually would take me in through his wing and consider the fact that i love him but theres a fact i must face hes only a friend that mustn't chase its like a if i hate him so much but i cant resist the fact that hes my knight in shinning armor hes the one that i used to think as a despizment but now its like i cant get enough of it as he puts me through hell i love him more n more but shh..... don't tell cause if i were to say i love you to his face I'd probably stutter and forget my place i have an abusive relationship i can tell its not him abusing me its me abusing him I've hurt him like concentration hurts me i know this is dumb maybe its just me maybe its not love maybe its just a fling but i doubt that like i doubt so many other things......but this is why I call him my lover....my friend....my thing
