Oh I see these are lyrics, yes? They should be interesting put to music.

I liked the first and third stanzas (especially the first). Your use of language gave great images.

In the repeated part there is a line which doesn't seem to make sense to me.
"What is was that made you whole"
I think you may have meant "What IT was that made you whole."

The final two lines gave a strong ending too.

Good write, keep it up!

If that wasn't good enough for you i wouldn't mind having that knid of skill. It was wonderful. You really do a great job and i hope you keep writing because i always find myself to want to read more. ANyway it was a great job and keep writing!!

Pretty good, Not as good as your other ones. Not really a fan of repetitive parts. Keep it up