Confusion

I don't know what to say,
I don't know who i am on any given day
I used to know, i wasn't always lost.
But protecting myself carries such a high cost.
How can i know how life is suppose to be,
When this dead feeling is the only thing thats me?
Is this a dream? Why can't i feel?
I guess this unbearable pain makes it real.
Life isn't a game, how can they be so blind?
Would they say i have a beautiful mind?
Beautiful why, because I suffer?
Is that suppose to make me tougher?
What if no one wants to see or know?
What if humanity has sunk that low?
Can i change them, make a difference?
Or are we doomed to carry out this sentence?