Ben so confuzed. Wich way do i choose? Ben fawked up so many tymez dat idk if im willen 2 risk once again gettin my heart abused. Every nite, i sit up tryna think rite, but my mind and my heart r n a fite. So many emmotionz, so many devotionz. Idk y. Sumtymez i cry. So many thingz runnin n my mind. Dont noe wut 2 think about 1st, bcuz no matta wich way i choose, i lose, n it only getz worst. Sumtymez i hate bein me, bcuz i think so much dat i cant take it anymore! I juz wanna hide n neva b seen. Sumtymez i feel lyke a crakhead cuz i feen, for sum type of medication so i cud finally b at ease. I feel lyke im sik and i got sum kind of disease, so desperate for a cure...i pray 2 God please! Help me out hea, im liven my lyfe n fear, wantin so badly 2 share, my feelinz dat i hav dat sho dat i care. Lately i ben so isolated, feelz lyke all my frendz hav faded. I feel i've ben neglected. Feelz lyke i've ben infected, frum suttin dat made me change. Everythin around me feelz so strange. Lost n a world full of hate. Scared 2 noe wut will happen 2 me n da future... wut iz my fate? I've noticed my lyfe iz bait. Hangin frum a hook and waitin 2 b eatin alive. Juz cant make thingz good.. n i noe diz bcuz i've tried. I feel lyke im constantly on a drug and my world iz n a spin. Feelz lyke im drowning n i cant get out cuz i cant swim. Diz shyt iz 2 much! Feelz lyke my mynd iz n a cobra'z clutch. Needin so bad 2 b at rest. 2 keep my mind off shyt since it feelz lyke i got a hole deep n my chest. Ben shitted on 4 2 long. My feelinz r 2 strong. I gezz i've ben krazi all along. Havin dreamz dat i die. Seein guyz dat i've had feelinz 4 passin by. Am i krazi 4 all da thingz i feel?!? Am i wrong 4 trien 2 fynd out if shyt iz real?!? All these situationz that i deal wit.. how can i go by lyfe living lyke dis? I plead da 5th. Will i eva fynd happiness? If i die now will i b missed? Trying so hard 2 fynd my normal stage. But itz clear 2 me all i hav n me iz rage. I dont think i cud eva b wit sum1 as an item. Bcuz im krazi and my feelinz n thoughtz r 2 intense n im 2 buzi tryna fite'em. 2 fawked up n da head. Sumtymez 2 make thingz eazier.... i wish i wuz dead. ---Sue---
