Alone

Being alone overcomes you with so many mixed signals and emotions. You wonder if this feeling of loneliness will ever go away, or if it will forever remain. People don't understand the way it feels. Especially for me. When i feel like this I see it differently. I feel as if I'm trapped in a tightly enclosed space. No matter how much I try to escape, I cant. For as long as I can remember Ive been in this space, alone. Waiting for my rescuing. Feeling as if no one will ever find me. Fear overcomes my mind and soul as if I was a victim of distress. Not knowing what it feels like to be complete. For I have never experienced the emptiness that I have, filled. Wondering if I ever will. It's almost like I'm the only human in this world. No one has ever came near to understanding me. And thats acceptable for I don't even understand myself. I'm in total darkness in my mind. Talking to myself hoping to find answers or conclusions for why I feel this way. But as I seek, I find nothing. Fear over rushes me all the time as I notice no one could help even if they tried. I'm so lost inside. Theres no reason for my thoughts to be revealed. That is why I don't speak much of my feelings. For no one can relate or understand at all. I feel unloved and uncared for. Who can love a creature as myself for I am utterly different from others. And u can't love something you don't understand. Which comes down to the conclusion, I AM ALONE. Outside I'm Sue Ellen, but the inside is a stranger. Someone who is burdened from others. Someone who is a prisoner in her tightly enclosed space. Who is seeking answers for why things are. And battling the evil misleading mind. To escape the space she's held. And if that's not a success than to wait for her rescuing is her only hope for a chance of survival to find herself. --sue-- 12/17/04
-Dilemmas Angel-