The Last...

This is last time I walk in day
Before the end will close
These are the last words I speak
But in this no one knows.

I know that some will miss me
But I can't feel that anymore
I'm blinded by the pain I cause
And the pain I can't ignore...

I know I promised you all
That I would never cave
Yet I break this so reluctantly
My life is not yours to save.

For this is my decision
And I'm finally making it come true
I wish that I could just rewind
So you know what I'm going through...

I raised myself to this
And though you may not like it
I am what I am and I am this
It's just another slit....

How am I to know if you know
That I cannot take this guilt
I'm invisible to your eyes
Just let my petals wilt...

Let me go, just let me go
I've had enough of shit
I have no sane mother, nor father
To get me through with it...

I tired of living, sleeping, breathing death
I wish I could change it with a thought
Perhaps I am stupid for wanting this
But I know when I am caught...

I'm stuck between the middle
And I want to go away
I've been taught that these thoughts aren't normal
So I saved them for today.

I thought about what my mom puts me through
And how she can scream all night
Yet I sit there crying quietly
With no emotion to fight.

Hailie still gets to me
Even though I know she's not dead
But the thought of her bleeding
Wont leave my tormented head.

My mom is going to kill herself
And I don't want to be here when she does
I can't look at her anymore
It breaks me to think of what she was.

She was always so beautiful
Always the perfect size...
Now she's so skinny that it seems
All is hollow in her eyes

I have an eating disorder because of her
She's not setting the record straight
She restricted me to a tiny room
As a punishment for contemplating fate.

Only they can notice it
Whenever I don't call...
But my father loves me not
And my sister not at all

Now that I look back
I realize i accomplished very little
Don't look at me like I'm unshakeable
Because the real me is so brittle...

This is the last time I look at your picture
Hanging on my dented wall
I remember the times you promised me
That you would not let me fall...

This the last time I look back
And this is the last breath I take
I'll miss you all with all I've got
I'm just another mistake.