Blindfolded and Bound

*This poem is dedicated to the best friend I may ever have, and have ever had.
I once called him boyfriend, not really understanding what that meant, whom I now
(and above all else will always ) call my friend. THIS word I have had to redefine; it means more to me now
than it has ever before. Please write to me, and tell me what you think, as this poem reflects many of the
lessons I am learning.*

I stood alone, naked, hands bound before me, with my head
downcast.

The bright white square of the
ground beneath my feet shone
through the folds of the veils tied
tight around my eyes.

The light teased me, mocked me in my helpless circumstance. I could do nothing.

Who can come to save me?
Who will come to free me?
Who can help me see?

My cries echoed around me,
the walls seemed close, tight
around my exposed flesh and soul.

And in that blinding light,
from beyond those walls,
through the terror and confusion of my paralyzing fear
- - a whisper - - two words.

- - I can - -

My heart expanded in my chest,
swelled with a hope I dared not
speak aloud.

I hear you! Can you hear me?!
Hello?! Can you hear me?!

Again, those two words -- a whisper --

- - I can - -

Thank God! I am here!
Can you find me? Can you save me? Can you help? I'm hurting, I'm scared!
Follow my voice! Can you find a way in?

I rose up on the tips of my toes, head cocked in anticipation,
I strained to hear, hoping
for those same words to reach me once again.

They did not answer quick enough, or perhaps I did not hear
over the roar of the excited blood
rushing through my ears.

Can you help me!? Can you get me out?
I need to see, to have my hands be free.

And in the silence that was my
answer, I felt a pressure on my
wrists. The bonds that held me!
Leather straps, the buckles loosened,
and then my hands were free.

Thank God you found me!! Thank God SOMEONE could hear me,
SOMEONE cares! Thank God
that you could save me!

The veils that held me blind, imprisoning my sight,
lifted one by one, and the light grew brighter behind the lids of my eyes.

I kept them closed for just a moment, wondering who this friend would be.
And in that moment before I looked, a lifetime of possibilities flashed inside of me.
This one that cared, that answered my call when no one else was there, how I would thank them.
Fight for them, hold their hand when they got scared, and give them my strength
As they now held me in their arms to give me theirs.

I heard those words a final time, whispered in response to my shouted desperate pleading.

- - I can - -

As I raised the lids of my eyes, tears rushing down tracks the tears that came
before had traced,
I looked ahead of me to find
that the one I owed so much to
had the most familiar face.

As my eyes traveled in wonder and awe, I knew what I would see. Hazel eyes tilted down just a bit,
the straight little nose, and the dimples that held the set of those lips.

Who can see me? Who can hurt
me? Who can heal me? Who can
set me free?

Who can dream for me, be for
me? Who can save me or enslave
me? Who can love me and who
can hate me?

As I looked at my reflection in this little mirrored room, I watched as those all too familiar lips
formed the words of my freedom and salvation.

Only I can.

The bonds that held me from action
lay before me in the bright white light. Burned into the leather straps,
the blackened inscription read:

- - blame - -
- - guilt - -

There beside the bonds, the veils revealed their make.
The words explained the nature of the blindness
That I no longer would take.

- - denial - -
- - approval - -

I will not look into the mirror of another's eyes,
And ask for direction or definition.
I look into the mirror before me
and remember the lessons of my past,
lessons of my blood,
lessons of my chosen family.
I forgive myself, hold no grudge, and love me with no condition.

Freedom was won with this simple, yet daunting, admission:

Only I can.

*Thank you, Jerod, for caring enough to hold up that mirror for so damn long!! *