Hey i liked that poem. keep up the gud work.

I like this poem I like the repeatation in each stanza. I like the ending, it gave the poem an extra boost.

I don't hand out 5s very often, and I was tempted to do so, here. This is a unique write with a lot of passion. You have avoided a lot of the stereotypes and clichés of lads your age, and structured it into something very compelling even for a jaded old rocker like myself.

One suggestion:
"Fragile is I, so I sit here to cry"
Should perhaps be:
"Fragile AM I, so I sit here to cry"

Good stuff. 4.5/5!