Hmm...neglect this then...the words are there, they seemed kinda jumbled though. hey, u joined the critique club, ya gotta respect what erbody gotta say. so anywayz, i like the fact that u explain what they are in a nutshell, but...there are some parts where it rhymes and u get the reader to start thinkin that it will rhyme all the way through, then the next line/stanza type thing, has a completly random rythm and crazy (practically no) rhyme. oh well. i like the message type thing about what u feel. no hard feelings? just tellin u the truth.