How I Felt

by sillylittlegirl   Sep 20, 2005


Hey best friend
I'm so glad you're back
please don't do it again
don't scare me like that

I had such a hard time
while you were gone
suicide and cutting
everything was going wrong

you will never know
how much you hurt me
the truth is I'm still hurting
but I'll never let you see

I remember the exact
words he said to me:
"KaTreasa sit down
it's about Lori

last night she tried suicide
she called the cops
since that night
she has asked for you non-stop

now she's getting help
you can't see her for a while
I guess that she was going through bad things
and they just piled too high

don't worry too much though
because she will be okay
just keep waiting
you can see her on Monday"

I though
and I cried
through the days
and the nights

I ran out the door
I knew you needed me
around a mile of running so fast
in the dark I couldn't see

you don't know how close I was
to taking my own life
only five words stopped me
"she's going to be alright"

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  • When i read the first part of this poem i imediatly started shaking i still am i can't stop crying my heart i think skipped a few beats i can barely type i love you so much you my best friend no friends could ever be closer than we are i can never tell you how sorry i am how much i hurt you i can't believe that i did that knowing how much you would be invilved i can barely breath right now if i wish that i could turn back and not do it if i knew it was going to hurt you this much i mean i knew but i just wasn't thinking about how much i was hurting anyone that night i wish you knew ho wsorry i am i think i'm hurting more now than i thought i was in the hospital because i know you were just putting on a brave face when i saw you and talked to you when i was in there i love you so much i don't know how you could ever forgive me i'm so sorry katreasa i'm so sorry

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