Suicide Note (Journal Entry3)

Dear everyone,
I've finally figured out what's wrong. Aren't you happy for me? I've finally realized why life seems so bad and so useless to me. Why I feel so empty and ignorant, why I am low on self esteem. Can you guess what? No, it's not any of my Friend's fault, or my failing grades; no it's you father, you and mother. You both treat me like shit, as does my sister. Just tell me now, you
all hate me and think I'm worthless. It's ok, go ahead and say it. It really doesn't hurt as much anymore; and when you tell me I won't cry, because I've known it all along. So, thank you for breaking me apart, tearing at my torn seams. It's been you guys, my family, that have been the source of my depression the whole time. I've always wondered why I needed more Love than others; it's because I never see it outside of school. Thank you for telling me I mean nothing to you; telling me I am nothing. You've really been a great help, and now, just for this, I'll repay you one day and give you what you want. You'll see me get thinner and thinner, shrinking in size. But you won't say anything. Only my friends will watch me get weaker and weaker with each day. They'll watch me fall in fatigue but be able to do nothing about it. I'm sorry to all my friends, I really loved you all. But look at what my own family has done; they've killed me inside. The split personality is them against me, me saying what i know is true, them telling me what they want me to think. That's why none of you can save me but myself. Because it's really my own family's fault...my own family that will be my suicide.
Shouldn't they be the ones to save you when you fall? But no, they are the ones tripping me...waiting for my failure once again. Do you know how much it hurts, to know that your family is the only ones that don't care, while everyone else around you cares so much it's unbelievable? Why, why oh why, are they pushing me down? They say the love me, then turn around and scorn and hit me....What a family they are...what a family they are...