What am I supposed to do? (True Story)

We have been best friends
For so long,
We shared secrets
We told each other everything
Best friends for life.

We were there for each other,
When we needed each other the most,
Bottom line was
We were each others angels.

We promised we would always be friends,
We would always be there.
And even if one of us were to leave,
We would still be best friends.

But that one horrid day,
I found the news,
You had cancer,
What was I supposed to do?

You lost all your hair,
You were miserable
Every single day,
You spent most of your childhood in the hospital
Fighting, and fighting

It hurt so much to see
My best friend go through all that pain
If only I knew how bad you felt.
Maybe I would have cried right beside you.

You fought it for four years,
Didn't change a thing,
You left,
Without a single good-bye.

All I can do is cry,
What I can't believe is
It came so fast.
I lost so much more than I thought I would
My heart will never be whole,
My wrists now always bleed
There's no one in the world
That could ever take your place.

No one to share clothes,
No more make overs.
No more sleep overs,
Or making fools out of ourselves in public.

Nothing will ever change
You will always be my best friend.
I just wish I could have said good-bye.

Now I stand by your coffin,
I can't stop my tears,
For you were the best friend I ever had

But as I promised
I will keep our friendship whole.
For without you I know,
Nothing will ever be the same.