LOve this one ..really made me think..but like i said to do wiht startin each sentence on thr left..but anyways you have some really good stuff..5/5

Great poem...maybe add a little length, or maybe you'd rather keep it short i dont know

uhh rhyming words like me and be and see won't get you anywhere they are convinent but anyone can do it try expanding the vocab

great idea, very sweet poem

4/5

Love the idea, truly well done in that respect.

5/5 I like...It just still seems like this simple style just tends to leek out from you...Get Ubber creative, just one poem...Make so many metaphorical lines, that everyone who reads it...They relate to it...Because you're still getting your point out, but they relate to it by the way they read the metaphors..Ya know what I mean...I wanna see some metaphors dude! lol
jk
Thanks
Ash

---Gosh I hope you don't hate my criticism..I try to be consrtuctive criticism...Not negative..Please don't take any of it the wrong way...----

I really liked this one, very sweet indeed. I also liked the rhyming, it flowed well. Well done.

Beautifully written, i enjoyed reading it ^_^

This almost made me cry
thanks for all your comments
this is beautiful!
5/5

Aww.. that was so sweet, it got me in tears.. i reli lykd the idea of the poem, and the fact that it was a short poem, made it all the more sweeter.. i loved it and ur rhyme was in place
keep it up
take care

It doesnt matter that you dont write your poems in stanzas, it is still very good!