Happiness is Over-rated

My thoughts are jumbled
Life is a huge mess
All I can think of is problems.
Nothing more, nothing less
My life is declining
Everything is going downhill.
I keep wishing this was just a dream
But it all seems so real
"Life can't be that bad"
I hear them all say.
But they just need to live as me
For no more than a day.
Sure, they see me smiling
and I have a good disguise
But none of them understand.
They haven't looked into my eyes.
On the outside there are colors
And all kinds of possible dreams.People see that on the outside
But to me, that's not how it seems
People are so shallow.
Not caring to look inside
No one would have even thought
If I just one day, died.
"How could she take her own life?"
They would all be asking "Why?"
Yeah, I look like I'm always happy,
But my whole life is a lie.
I've lied about my future,
And I've lied about my past.
I've told lies about my dreams,
I know my life won't last.
I can see myself alive
For five years, and no more.
Yeah, people might miss me,
But that's nothing to live for.
Life isn't worth it.
I'm sick of not living for me.
I'm always living for other people.
That's not how it should be.
I've looked for happiness
And for happiness I've waited.
But I'm sick of this, I've decided
That happiness is over-rated!