by Dark Kitten Sep 22, 2005
category :
Life, society /
about society
I wish I had a normal life, |
by Sole
The last line - great imagery! Though a very sad meaning, so I shouldn't get too exited - oh, what the heck!! Amazing poem! I loved it so much, the rhymes came off a little at points, out and without sounds a bit wrong - but it was so lovely and easy to read - so sad and . . .and . . . and . . . I'm speechless!! |
by Atomic
Hmmm...the imagery of the perfec scen was ...well....perfect. |
by N J Thornton
This is a very "different" poem; I liked the subject and how you set the poem out like a story. Only problem I feel with this is the same as before, you repeat yourself and you don't need to. Also because the lines are quite lengthy, you need to make sure the flow stays constant. It was good for the most of it, but in places, it let you down. Apart from that, though it was written quite well. You use vocabulary nicely too, so that really helps strengthen the poem. |
by nikki
Great poem i loved it 5/5 |
Very good and emotional good job 5/5 |