by shawn hoskins Sep 24, 2005
category :
Sadness, depression /
grieving, loss
The door closes and i'm the only one still here thought i'd do things different this year, but i'm not ready to settle down bartender how bout another round, i'm sure i don't need it but what the heck, it's Friday night i got an excuse for been a total wreck, i hear the door open in comes a guy about my age sits down beside me, i stand up and pay my tab i get to the door about to go outside when the guy said" hey do you mind if i catch a ride", he said" my names John it's just about a mile down the road",yea sure come on i don't care lets go, so we get going down the road when all of a sudden he says "stop, this is good", i put my blinker on and looked through my rearview mirror, i turned around and i about turned white he was gone nowhere in sight, i jumped out of my car i saw a cross on the side of the road lit up by my headlight, i walked up to it a chill went down my spine, i didn't know what to say, it read for my dearest son John who was killed by a drunk driver a year ago from this Friday. |
by Natalie
Aww... Sad again =[ Good though, I really liked this one. 5/5 |
by Jamie
Okay I had to read this like four times and I still don't completly understand what happened to the dude in the car...but I think I did get the message and its beautiful and this was very well written but if you reads these you NEEEEEED to break your poems into stanzas it sucks when im all into the poem and I lose my place...i have to highlight as I go just to keep track of where im at...so yeah please start doing that it would be great |
by void.
What's this doing in explict poems? Yes, it deals with alcohol. But the message is far from just alcohol. Excellent subject, very eerie, and quite effective. You might try cutting this into lines and stanzas, which would help readability. It's a shame to scare people away from such a beautiful poem. Cheers and keep up the great work. |