How Not To Cry

I washed my mascara away
And pasted a smile after tears
Matched up old scars to new
As I have for so many years

My hidden body aches
From these cuts I’ve made so deep
Under the false sense of numbness
That the pills put my body to sleep

Terrified of knowing
That my hands are breaking down
And I scream into an empty hole
With no one else around

Im afraid of being myself
Im terrified of hurting you
Im sick of lying everyday
About what I go through

I know I should hate you
But you should despise me
As I stole your happiness
And gave you chains for free

Broke you down for strength
And used you like a doll
And begged you each time to come back
Only to see you fall

I know what I am now
What I have always been
Im a thief, a liar, a worthless life
I have more reasons to hate myself then you’ve seen

So give up on me now
Or forever live in pain
And never be free from an addiction
Of breaking open each vein

Laugh at how each crimson tear drips down
In the safety of your room you have no need to cry
Strength shown through your shell for them
Destroyed and dying inside, but never from your eye

-let your tears fall from your arms
never from your eyes
and you will see that if you do
you'll never hear your cries-

(how do u think they egnore their cries)

-just got pissed and worte this after i made it true...i know it sucks oh and i am not inspiring cutting, dont do that to urdelf people seriously...you dont want to end up like me- that should be a good enough reason to never start...or quit if you have-

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