Yes, i agree it is a powerful messege, but having a japanese mom and speaking japanese since childhood and living in the culture, haiku is 5 7 5 last time i checked. Sorry to sound so blunt,harsh, whatever you want to call it. Yeah. well i might be wrong but, whatevers. Just saying

Yes you are correct thankyou for pointing that out to me. I will have to edit

Very nice haiku.

I think you did a good job. It is hard to express a lot with so few syllables to work with. You have done that here.