Boy's Rulez (my opinion)

(hey y'all, this is just my opinion on this whole thing...dont read it unless u like opinions....lol)

We all always hear "the rules"
from the female side.
Now here are the rules from the male side.
These are their rules!
Please note ... these are all numbered "1"
ON PURPOSE! (hello! i can read, you just think im stupid)

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down. (yeah ok....who has to clean and scrub the toliet when you make a mess?)

1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon
or the changing of the tides.
Let it be. (just say that in the first place....hey what if I like football too? What about afterwards?

1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
And no, we are never going to think of it that way. (I never said shopping was a sport hun, but I guess it can be good excercise, but like normal people, I have no money to shop.)

1. Crying is blackmail. (Really? How so?)

1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtitle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it! (yeah here you have a point but you can ask us if you are seriously that annoyed...right?)

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question. (yeah your supposed to think hard before you answer baby)

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it.
That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
(If you love me, you should have sympathy for all my problems...same thing goes for you.)

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem.
See a doctor. (Hey honestly, who would have a headache for 17 monthes....who came up with that rule? God......)

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days. (whoa baby, slow down and don't use big words this time, if you have a comment say it, and I'll do my best not to get pissed off, if you piss me off, just say your sorry and give me a kiss, maybe more....I don't know, same thing if I get mad at you. Otherwise I'll just stay pissed)

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls,
don't expect us to act like soap opera guys. (yeah some of us don't eat just on salads and diet pop....do you seriously think we are crazy? I know I need no soap opera guy.....your point is....?

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us. (All of us think we are fat, it's a girl thing, if you get sick of it just tell us the dang truth and we will stop asking, don't be mean about it.....girls: if he thought you were fat and ugly why would he be with you? Your beautiful, you really are!)

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one. ( Why you saying those things in the first place? If I look pissed then I am, If I ignore you for a day, it's both. Baby, just don't do that in the first place, I know you aren't perfect but just try)

1. You can either ask us to do something
or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself. (please.....)

1. Whenever possible,
please say whatever you have to say during commercials. (Wow, that is kinda rude, if we are important to you, you should be open at any time....)

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we. ( Yeah ya know why you don't need directions? It's cuz we are usually holding the map...now if you would just listen....)

1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
We do that.
(Ok just don't do it in front of me!!!! please.)

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing,"
we will act like northing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle. (If something was wrong I hope you would care)

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to,
expect an answer you don't want to hear. (ok.....)

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear
is fine...Really. ( You sure about that?)

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are
prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation,
or monster trucks. (The reason we ask is the reason we care....hope you know what we mean, if not your stupid)

1. You have enough clothes. (We could have more)

1. You have too many shoes. (I only wear your favorite)

1. I am in shape. Round is a shape. (that's no excuse)

1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
but did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping. (yeah you have to sleep on the couch for the next week but honestly hun, what's the point with all these stupid rules?)