Hehe, the first one to comment on your poetry? Wow, I am impressed, because your poetry is really something great! This poem, has a nice tentative title which captivated me from the very beginning. I must say that you are very talented indeed. Very vividly described and very well written. But I must also suggest that you capitalise some of the letters if you want to maintain a consistent grammar. Furthermore, there are some mistakes like "its" instead of "it's" which you need to change. Otherwise, this is truly a wonderful work of art. Well done!

Yeah, i like this one too. i think its one of my favourites, a bit depressing but really good! go you!

-pammie-