The butterfly (metaphor)

Oo i like this peice. it's writen very well! i like the hurrican line i just think that many of us can relate to that line right now (least in the south of the us) but i'm in the north but yet it effects us. but any ways as i was saying that line just has power right now and puts forth a strong meaning.

~Jacklyn

Well first, i only have some technicalities to point out, and i could very easily be wrong in the first place. if your looking thru a stained glass window, at night, no less, i dont think you'd be able to see a butterfly.. but thats not very consequential.. i enjoyed the imagery of this piece.. one thing i would change is the last line of the second stanza.. id change it to a simile and say

Cutting through the air like a master piece knife

it just seems more fitting, as i dont really notice any real knife being incorporated into the piece.. i think this stanza flowed the easiest..

im really, really bad with metaphor, so i failed to catch this one.. its a shame cuz it seems like the whole piece is based off it.. anyway.. good read on the surface, and im sure the deeper meanings are just as beautiful.. good read!

It's a beautifully described Metaphor and as a parrallel to what I THINK you're describing its damn accurate.
Keep it up
Luv Scarlet xxxxxxxx