I like the way your lines flow together..i feel that this one coulda had a stronger ending but overall it was great

It's a good poem. Just too many unnecessary capitalized words for my liking.

Yeah the capital letters on every word were annoying and the only line i think was weird was *My Soul Death Now Grips* because i dont like it when people screw around sentences but also it didnt even need to be screwed with cause your werent rhyming....

other then those simple things this was a great poem so dark and amazing theme and it gave off an eerie feeling and it was just sweet 5/5

This Poem Should Already Be Number One, I Admire Your Style Of Writing I Think Your a Terrific Poet With Your Own Unique Style, I Love Dark Poems But I've Never Been a Pro At Writing Them, Good Job Sweetie Keep It Up *Friends Till The End* 5/5 xoxo-Nikki-xoxo

Holding onto my knees*i think is the correct second line..

alright, the first three lines flow very well.. and then the thirs totally breaks.. i think a more fluent line, something such as.. while death strangles my soul,.. but that line doesnt seem very fresh, but its a general idea..

Leading me into an airless Pit
Of deceit, lies, eternal Burning

that 'airless pit' part struck me as weird to visualize.. somehow, for whatever reason the line seem out of place,.. to be more technical: airless pit, where fire has to have O2 to burn.. but i might just be dumb,. thats my opinion.. joodjob overall.. not overused rhymes and just good concepts all around.. pZ out

Very good again i liked it very good 5/5

Haha lovely comment erica SO TOUCHING lol this isn't its just freaky lol but I LOVE IT! lol 5/5
Becky
xoxo

Very nice job, great flow