Eating Me Away

*Sissy, if you're reading this, I am sorry beyond words. Don't cry. I'm trying so hard to get better, and get things back to normal. Please, just don't leave me alone.*

Binging and purging isn't how it used to be
Sticking a finger down my throat just to feel free
I can feel all the pain and hurt leaving
The emptiness in my stomach is so relieving
No need to cut or bleed anymore
I've opened a window and shut a door
Neither one solves my problems at all
But they help when I'm waiting for that phone call
Instead of cutting, bleeding, and crying
I'm lying, puking, and slowly dying
Wasting away in front of all eyes to see
I can't believe what I've turned out to be
Sick at myself because I know what I'm about to do
Trying to get rid of me and become someone new
I'll let my scars heal and make my throat burn
I can't win, I guess I'll never learn
Such a hypocryte to all of my friends
I can't wait for it to stop, hoping it all ends
Here I go another time once again
Trying to wash away just one more sin
Why not have another bite or two
They won't be there later, when I'm good and through
One more time, lock the door
Once again, kneel to the floor
Stick my finger down my throat
Turn the music up so no one hears me choke
I stand up and let out a sigh
No more blood and I didn't cry
Helping my sweet acids to eat me away
And slowly let myself drift and decay